Why it was (not) his life
by Traitor of All Traitors
Summary: Add-on to You can (not) save his life. Gendo was rumored to have met a woman dressed like a shrine maiden sometime after Shinji died in the battle against Bardiel/Unit-03, but what was said in the meeting? What did he find out? And what did this shrine maiden say to him? Read to find out.


Creation began on 07-19-13

Creation ended on 01-26-14

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Why it was (not) his life

A/N: A follow-up to what went on during _You can (not) save his life_, with more insight onto certain characters, particularly one of whom a review questioned.

It had been a month since the last Angel attack, and the parts of Tokyo-3 that were damaged, along with the bits of NERV that were damaged, still looked like ruins that had yet to be taken down and rebuilt. The Angel that arrived after the one that possessed Unit-03 was, by far, the strongest one the Evas were ever sent out to face in combat; nothing they used against it did anything to hurt it. And after it defeated Unit-02 and Unit-00, as Unit-01 was still being repaired, it waited around for a long time…until it finally left the Geo-Front. The people thought that it was giving them time to recover from the destruction it caused, only to lose track of it later. The Angel hasn't come back to finish what it started ever since.

In his office, Gendo conversed with Fuyutsuki and Ritsuko over how long it would take to repair the Evas and NERV HQ, trying to ponder how he could bring about his scenario without his primary pawn.

"We're looking at about two months' time to repair everything," Ritsuko explained the situation to him. "The NERV branches in Hamburg and Berlin have already sent Eva parts over to repair Units-00 and 02, and the NERV branch in Massachusetts is sending over parts in an attempt to repair Unit-03."

"And what of Unit-01?" Gendo asked her.

"Still undergoing repairs to thirty-seven percent of its components. The artificial muscles and nerves need to be regenerated and the core has already been repaired."

"But will the Fourth Child pilot again?" Fuyutsuki questioned; he was one of the only few that hated the requirement of children being used to move the Evas.

"He will if he wants his sister to get better," Ritsuko answered; it was as simple as blackmail to get most people to do whatever they wanted.

"Oh, you're just wasting precious resources that should be used for beneficial causes," a new voice uttered out, and the three individuals looked around, but couldn't find the person. "Up here, mortals."

They looked up at the ceiling of Gendo's office and saw a…miko or shine maiden, with long, ebony hair and amber eyes. She was floating above their heads, looking down at them like she had a problem.

"You're reaching for the impossible," she told them. "What you hope to achieve, what you want to obtain after all the meaningless violence you inflict onto everyone, is out of your reach. Give up and turn away from the path of self-destruction. Seek salvation through conflict best left uncommitted."

"Who are you?" Fuyutsuki asked her.

"Me? Oh, I'm just a wandering ghost, if that's what you want to believe. Or a former mortal tasked with with the representation of one of history's greatest minor beliefs and ideals."

"Which is?"

"Rebirth, which is often reserved for many a few. I'm also the maiden that helped a young man save the life of his friend, even when the price to do so was the sacrifice of his own life."

"Then…you killed the pilot," went Ritsuko, accusing the miko of murdering one of their pilots.

"Don't accuse me of something that you were going to do later on," the miko responded. "I did no such thing to Shinji, who I viewed as a precious soul that didn't deserve the pathetic life that man (she points to Gendo) dealt him with the very day he abandoned him. When the creature you called an Angel arrive, you had already set into motion the tragedy that was taking place, where it had to be one of them or more than them, and look at how it was resolved in the end. It was either him…or his friend…and he chose for himself to be taken by the Grim Reaper rather than have the blood of another on his hands. Even though the innocent blood would've actually been on his hands (continues to point at Gendo)."

"So, you mean to say that, in the situation where death was unavoidable," Fuyutsuki questioned, "one of them had to die…and he chose himself rather than a friend? He risked mankind's future…for a friend's safety?"

"That's right, elder," the miko answered him. "And if he had to relive the situation allover again, he would make the same choice in a heartbeat…because he didn't see any value left in his own life. Hopefully, if he gets a shot at being reborn, his next life will be much better than the previous one."

"Do you know when this will be?" Gendo asked her.

"I don't know why you bother asking. He wouldn't be the same person he used to be. Nobody is when they're reincarnated. He might end up being a boy of a different race, or a dog or cat. He could even end up being reborn as a girl instead."

"But you know when this will happen."

"No, I don't. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you, of all disgraces…and there's nothing you can do to me that would convince me to tell you. Shinji's gone, out of your reach and influence…for good. If you want to continue disregarding him like you have ever since his mother left, that's your choice…but he won't return to you just because you want him to help you achieve a twisted goal." She told him; even if she did know where and when a person would be reborn, she wouldn't tell the people that were still among the living of their new lives, mostly because no new life lived should be burdened with the weight or shame of the previous life.

"So, even if he lived again, he wouldn't remember a thing?" Fuyutsuki asked her.

"That's the whole point of reincarnation," she expressed. "To live a new life, you gotta let go of the previous life. It's an act of higher authority or a simple addition to a miracle for a person reborn to remember things from the life lost, even to have the same emotions."

Somehow, Fuyutsuki found this revelation to be a good thing to hear. If you lived a new life unbound by the memories or feelings of the past, you'd have a real clean slate.

"That's bull," went Ritsuko. "There's no such thing as reincarnation or living again. Those are outdated beliefs that have no place in a new future."

"And some people believe that the past and future exist in the eternal present, or that magic is just science that you can't fully comprehend, or that there is life after death, where the soul continues to live after the passing of a physical vessel," the priestess responded. "But you're obviously a woman that doesn't believe in any matters concerning the will to defy some unjustifiable fate or the heart to do what others won't for others. Is there anything unrelated to what you do just to avoid being in your mother's shadow that you do believe in? Or what of you, elder? Is there anything outside the beliefs of those younger than you that you believe in that are your beliefs? Surely, there was something other than wanting to live in a world with people in it, no matter how stained with sins it was. I don't need to ask him (she points to Gendo again) if there's anything he believes in because nothing he says would be believed by me."

None of them said anything to the floating priestess for over a minute; it was like they were unable to find the words to converse with to state anything from a comeback to a simple response to personal beliefs that weren't the beliefs of others they knew.

Then, believing that there wasn't anything left to say, Sosei, the Maiden of Rebirth, started to fade away from their perception.

"Maybe the people that suffered enough from the people that don't understand the meaning of suffering will live again to see happier times, unhindered by the cruelty that was inflicted upon them in the past," she told them, but gave Gendo a severe glare. "You, Gendo, on the other hand, will be one of the people that will not enjoy such a benevolence when you die. You might as well try to make some sense of this life you have right now, not that it might make any difference for you. Your heart is too cold to thaw out, so much to the point where it's nonexistent. Sayanora."

And then, she was gone.

-x-

Fuyutsuki returned to Shinji's grave to place another bouquet of flowers near the tombstone.

"I'm guessing that before you died, you met this woman dressed like a priestess," he said to the grave, "and she gave you the choice to end your life and save your friend, the Suzuhara boy…and you chose to save a life rather than take one. That was a very, very selfless choice you made…and it changed everything. The Angels probably won't come, anymore now that you're gone. One came and caused a lot of damage…but then it left. No one died, but they might as well have that day, like we were all being judged by the gods themselves. It was either luck or pity that the Angel decided to leave. I hope that wherever you are on the other side…it's at least peaceful."

As he turned away and left, he never noticed that behind a tree, keeping out of sight, yet looking over the grave, the Maiden of Rebirth had overheard everything spoken by him. And when he left, she came out from behind the tree and approached the grave.

"He's one of the souls that will know bliss for a time, only to be reborn later on," she told the grave's spiritual keeper.

As the sun began to set beyond the horizon, the priestess had vanished, likely to never be seen or heard from again…until she had to visit another soul burdened with a cruel choice between life and death between themselves and another life put in danger.

Fin

A/N: Well, that's it for this story here. It's been a long time since I started on it, but never had a chance to finish it until now. If any of you got caught in a situation where you had to choose between yourself and the life of another that you trusted, which would you choose? You…or them…to live or die? A selfish soul would choose the path of self-preservation, while a selfless soul would accept their fate and let another live to see another day, being rewarded for their sacrifice. Peace out until later.


End file.
